Woman refuses to celebrate aunt's birthday during her baby shower, family stands up to her, claiming she is being selfish: ‘Can't this one event be about me?’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 4, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Birthdays, engagement parties, weddings, and baby showers are just a few examples of events that put all the guests' focus on one person (or two). The person who celebrates their birthday, the couple who got engaged and married, the soon-to-be mother–these people should and deserve to have everyone's attention on their special day. Some will also go as far as preventing anyone from attempting to steal their thunder, like when brides refuse to let anyone else wear white at their wedding. 

While we all understand the desire to be the center of attention on special days like these, the reality is that it is not that easy. Somehow, there will always be something that, even if it's just for a little while, will outshine you. It can be a surprising piece of news, some interesting gossip, or simply someone else, who steals the spotlight from you. The only thing you can do is decide how you are going to react to it. You could either be salty and selfish about it, or you can simply accept it with open arms and move on.

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  • The woman in this story found it hard to accept her family's wishes to celebrate her aunt's birthday during her baby shower. She understandably wanted the focus of the baby shower to be on her, and she didn't feel like sharing the spotlight with an aunt that half of the guests didn't even know.

    However, the family made it clear that this was not up for debate, since they were the ones paying for the shower. They also accused the soon-to-be mother of being selfish for refusing to even sing happy birthday to her aunt during the party.

    Who do you think is in the wrong? Make sure to keep scrolling to read the full story, and decide for yourself!

  • "They say I have no choice as I didn't pay for the shower"
    via Ruth Black

  • "AITA for telling my mom not to sing hbd to my aunt at my baby shower"

    My baby shower is today and I was just told last night my aunt will be visiting for a few days from a different state and today is her birthday. Previous to last
    via Angeldust734
  • night I was unaware of her birthday or her even coming, then I was told my mother bought her A cake and plan on having everyone sing happy
    via Angeldust734
  • birthday at my shower. My issue is that there will be multiple strangers who have no clue who she is that will be forced to awkwardly sing to her, and they couldn't
    via Angeldust734
  • wait for another day. She is going to be here for a few days so Im confused why they couldn't simply take her to dinner after the event or a different day. When it
    via Angeldust734
  • expressed my concern my family implied I'm being selfish and then proceeded to say I have no choice as I didn't pay for the shower. This is my first child and my
    via Angeldust734
  • family has made it clear this will be my one and only baby shower. So AITA for asking that this one event (not even the entire day just the event) to be about me only?
    via Angeldust734
  • Edit: To everyone saying I should be happy to share this with my aunt because she came for me, I never said she came FOR me or for this shower. She just
    via Angeldust734
  • happens to be here and It would be a different situation if I were closer to this aunt but as previously mentioned im distant enough to have not even known it was her birthday.
    via Angeldust734
  • Also when this tia was originally told about my pregnancy she was insanely negative and criticizing telling me to possibly abo...
    via Angeldust734
  • Accurate-Neck6933 Personally if I was the aunt, I'd be super uncomfortable with that and would prefer just going out to dinner later. But sounds like there is not much
    via Accurate-Neck6933
  • you can do about the situation but let it play out and people can think what they think.
    via Accurate-Neck6933
  • StrangerOnReddit NTA. I don't care who is paying, this is YOUR baby shower; it's a very special event to you and one that cannot be replicated. Your aunt will be there for multiple
    via Stranger0nReddit
  • days for your family to celebrate her birthday, and she has a birthday every year so it's not cool of your mom to want to celebrate your aunt's birthday and take focus
    via Stranger0nReddit
  • away during your special event. And honestly, If I were the aunt here, i'd be uncomfortable with it.
    via Stranger0nReddit
  • Cheezburger Image 10462766848
    via Jecapix

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • SnooRadishes8848 I don't understand how a simple HBD takes away from the shower, no one will forget it's about you And if it's awkward for people to sing, then they shouldn't and your
    via SnooRadishes8848
  • mom and aunt will feel awkward, which makes you happy probably. I guess I don't understand the it's got to be all about me thing? Like everyone is crowded by you the entire time? And all
    via SnooRadishes8848
  • anyone can speak on is you? I'm genuinely confused, my shower and those I've been to were basically family/friends, a party with food, cake and opening presents. Maybe we did it wrong
    via SnooRadishes8848
  • Opening Waltz_4285 If I were at a friend's shower and they sang happy birthday to someone I did not know, I wouldn't feel awkward. I would feel that the mother- to-be was so gracious and kind to think of her aunt whose birthday fell on the day of her shower.
    via Opening_Waltz_4285
  • tritoeat YTA. The song takes 30 seconds and people who don't want to sing don't have to. Baby showers are already awkward for guests and I don't think this will be the tipping point.
    via tritoeat
  • I once attended a wedding on my birthday and the bride's father brought me a slice of cake and sang happy birthday to me. It did not make the wedding about me, but it was nice to be thought of as I was, indeed, spending my birthday celebrating someone else. It's okay to make space and share joy with others.
    via tritoeat
  • Wisconsen ΝΤΑ It's your babyshower not her birthday party. They can always have a birthday party on another day or before or after the babyshower.
    via Wisconsen
  • Hawaiianstylin808 Is your baby shower 24 hours? Why can't they do the HBD after the guests leave? To me it's classless to do it during the shower. NTA.
    via Hawaiianstylin808
  • stroppo NAH. I don't think it's that big a deal to sing to yr aunt, personally. You're all there and Happy Birthday only takes about a minute to sing and then it's done. I don't
    via stroppo
  • think it's that "awkward" to sing to a stranger; I've done. so at restaurants many times. But, it is your shower, and your wishes should be respected.
    via stroppo
  • I'm also intrigued by the reference to "my family has made it clear this will be my one and only baby shower." Will you be prevented from having children in the future?
    via stroppo
  • Top Purchase5109 NTA "my family implied I'm being selfish" well thank god the whole party is about you because if there's a time to "be selfish" it is right here and now my friend
    via Top_Purchase5109

Tags

family drama aita baby pregnancy birthday mother happy bunday reddit story Party aunt entitled family pregnant baby shower Reddit money women entitled people
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